Every parent is different, and their style of parenting is also different from each other. The foundation of parenting depends on what kind of future you desire for your child or what kind of human being you want your child to grow up to be. So if any of my relatives, family member or friend tells me, what I am supposed to do as a parent, I listen to them out of respect and always do what I think is best for my child, because no one knows her better than me.
So does it make me a bad parent if I allow my 7-year-old kid to choose her dress, doesn't force her to study when she is not in a mood because I believe that knowledge comes to you when you are receptive to it? Were we being irresponsible when my kid was having school going anxiety and her health was deteriorating, my husband and I decided to withdraw her from school and homeschool her for a year or two and give her time to prepare herself for school? Am I wrong if I don't force her to join any hobby classes or sports, until and unless she asks me or shows interest in any of such activities? To me, the answer is NO.
Some of my friends are working, and I can see how much stress they are under while balancing their professional and personal lives. To some people, they are not good parents because, to them, the working parents fail to spend time with their children and take care of them. Imagine the height of despair one feels if they have to come home and justify their parenting to the people. I am a Stay At Home Mom, most of the time, I get to face such judgments about my parenting now and then.
The thing I realised in all these years that no matter how much effort you put into your parenting and try to become good parents, some people will keep on judging you because they are helpless and are so tied up in their perception of good parenting, that they criticise anyone who doesn't measure up to their So-Called Good Parenting Standards.
So what do I usually do? Well, when I come across such relatives, I listen to them, try to incorporate the good points into my parenting, and ignore the rest. Learning to Ignore some things is imperative for the smooth functioning of our lives. Another thing which I do is try to balance my leniency with strictness, and never let my child take me for granted. I switch my role from a friend to a parent whenever I feel the necessity.
So dear parents, please don't get discouraged if you are told that your style of parenting is not right. If you are a working parent and you love your work as much as you love your kid, don't feel guilty about it because we always find time for the things we love and our loved ones. If you are SAHM like me, enjoy every moment with your kids along with your other duties.
Children are like small cute plants, nurture them with your love, care, and space to grow, and they will grow up to be fruit-bearing trees. So it is we who decide if we are good parents or not and make amends for what is lacking in our parenting and not anyone else.